Wounded
by Roadside Iris
Summary: When Rafael loses a client's case through fault of a misled jury, the client snaps and abducts one of the attorney's closest friends, a fellow member of the NYPD. What lengths will he go to in order to rescue her, and what kind of effect will this have on their relationship? WARNING: Graphic depictions of rape in first chapter. Rafael Barba X OC NEWLY REVISED!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of SVU or its characters. I am not making a profit over this in any way.

WARNING: This chapter contains graphic and upsetting depictions of rape. If this is a trigger for you, or want no part of it, please skip ahead to a future chapter!

-

Those green eyes were staring at me so intensely. Well, not quite _at_ me, but I knew that's was what he was hoping for.

Sadly, it was hard to make eye contact through two ends of a video camera, and even harder with a gun pointed at your skull. My kidnapper was unwavering, but thankfully Rafael was too. His eyes were so steady, face in that firm, decisive mask that he was so skilled at wearing.

But I knew my dear, close friend, and I _knew_ that he was burning inside. I could tell he was, because even with his body completely erect with his arms folded defensively over his chest, I could see the way his breath hitched every now and then. All I could do was thank whatever powers there were out there that he wasn't alone.

They were all there with him: Olivia, Nick, Amanda, and Fin, trying to conceal their horror the best they could throughout this conference call from Hell.

My attacker was so cocky and had snapped so hard that he was happy to show his face clear as day as he tormented my coworkers via his laptop. The man was smart, kept moving me from place to place, only to completely scramble the IP address with every new location. This wasn't the first video conference he'd had with the NYPD, but each time was more horrifying than the last. It was impossible to remember how many times the cold mental barrel of his pistol had touched my temple. I couldn't count how many times he'd exposed me, threatened to violate and kill me…though he hadn't made good on that threat yet. Every time the factors remained the same: a new location, a new taunt, a new humiliation, but there was always one constant:

He demanded that Rafael be there. Always.

The team wasn't able to reach Rafael for a good 10 minutes when the second connection was established. Our attorney's inability to materialize instantly was too much for my kidnapper to handle, and that's why he decided to pistol whip me so hard it bruised my cheek and split my lip. I'm pretty sure that Rafael had been on standby in the office ever since then. Five days ago. Maybe he didn't think I knew, but I noticed the dark under his eyes. He was also wearing the shirts and sweatshirts that we kept spare in the precinct. The man wasn't moving for anything, though I wished he would.

All this trouble began after one of Rafael's last cases. His client lost everything, and not for lack of trying on Rafael's part. The jury was just foolish that day, though he'd fought so hard, and even lost a considerable amount of sleep to achieve victory. The trial in general was hard on my friend, as it involved a man, Harvey Mason, who had witnessed the rape and murder of his wife and young son. The attorney promised Mason that justice would be found for his family, as he had been ruled out as a suspect early on, and the evidence they had pointing toward another suspect was incredibly strong. Something about the case disturbed Rafael deeply, though, and I could see it in his face when it was just us. We'd been close for a few years, but the case brought us even more so than before. Long nights of intense discussions, frustrated trips to Starbucks, and pained nights of the bar has a way of bringing people together.

Regardless, it was platonic, and that's where this crazed attacker had it wrong. Yes, I'd become closer to Rafael than any other man I've ever known, or any friend, and yes I found him attractive physically and as a person, but I was happy to keep things the way they are. There was never a flirtatious moment, or even a long look that was more than support and trust.

But that's not how Mason saw it.

Rafael was incredibly torn up after the trial. We offered comfort to Mason and then as we left I hugged my friend so tight that I think time stopped. I wanted to take his pain away. This incredible man poured his soul all over and into this case and there it was, shot dead, bleeding out beyond saving all over the floor.

Witnessing that embrace the first click of the deadly gears ticking through Mason's brain. Of course he blamed Rafael. He was grief-stricken over the loss of his family, and it was easy to turn his attorney into the bad guy.

_Why couldn't you phrase your questions right? Why couldn't there be more evidence? Why weren't you more convincing during summation? You promised me it would be okay._

I felt Mason's eyes on us at the time and something about his gaze chilled me to the bone.

"Barba," Mason murmured, dragging me along the splintery floor by my bound hands and into a chair, so I would be adequately positioned in front of the camera.

"What?" It was a short response. He was so tired, so tense, and it made my heart sink. I didn't want any of my colleagues put under this pressure, especially him.

Mason clicked his tongue, jerking me a bit for emphasis. "Don't you give me that. I have quite a show planned for all of you tonight." His blue eyes were steel boring into the camera. "I think you'll like this one especially."

My blood stopped in my veins even as everyone looked on calmly…or tried to. I knew their scared poker faces by now. It wasn't that they weren't good at their job, but this was the fourth location he'd brought me to. It was only a matter of time before he acted on his threats. So far I'd been lucky, only suffering scrapes, cuts and bruises, but by his tone of voice we all knew that my luck had just run out.

"I have a question for you, Barba," Mason's eyes narrowed as he circled behind my chair.

I wondered if Mason caught Rafael's involuntary swallow too. "Yeah? What's that?"

"How long have you and detective Elton been friends?"

A short pause. "A few years."

"So enough to establish a significant connection, yes?"

"…Yes."

"So, you must have thought about fucking her at least once."

I winced at this, and my heart started a sprint. Even though I wasn't at the precinct I could feel the air freeze. No one could help the disgusted expressions at his vulgarity this time. It was hard to find air after that statement, and I didn't even want to hear the response that would come. Embarrassment clouded me to the point where I couldn't look at the laptop anymore.

Mason's hand gripped the back of my hair, forcing my head up to see my fellow detectives again. "No, no, don't you look away." He planted a kiss on my head that made me want to vomit. "Now Barba, answer my question." With his other hand he rummaged into his pocket, producing a pocket knife as he waited for a reply.

Rafael sucked in a deep breath of air and set his jaw. "Yes. At least once, but not in such a crude fashion."

I wondered if those words were true, warred with myself when I wondered how my life would be different if they were. Maybe I would have been safe at his condo instead of alone in my apartment. Maybe I would never have been walking home on my own…we would have walked together. Maybe I wouldn't have been abducted.

_Maybe, maybe, maybe…_

"So you've never touched her, then."

I'd never seen a more violating smile than Mason's as he circled around to face me, clearly done playing games. A swift cut bisected my dress, the last of my armor falling away. His mouth was on mine when I tried to scream, all tongue, saliva, and despair. I could hear sounds of distress from the other side of the laptop and it made me even sicker.

"Barba," my kidnapper growled out as he paced behind me once more. "You're going to watch me as I take away everything from you."

Tears leaked from my eyes. _Oh god…oh god. No. _"You're mistaken. He's just saying what you want to hear." Mason's hand traveled down my shoulder and into my bra, cupping and pinching me. "Please! Rafael, don't play his stupid game!"

For the first time in his life, I don't think Rafael could find words. He bit his lip, obviously trying to conjure something up, but his brain was locked down.

Olivia spoke for him. "Leave her _alone_, Henry. You don't have to do this."

"Oh, but I do." His hand continued downward into my underwear, invading between my folds. His vicious eyes turned to the screen, "You all are free to look away, but if Barba does I _will _kill her."

The squad, my closest friends, watched in pure horror as Mason violated me with his fingers until I knew I felt raw and knew that I wouldn't be able to walk. My mind left my body as he assaulted me, but my throat was definitely screaming. Every bone in my pelvis felt like it would snap from the upward thrust of his motions, and the agony stretched on for eternity.

When Mason finally ended his torture, he withdrew bloody fingers from my body. My eyes were wide. If he tore me up that badly, would I bleed out and die? A blotch of red stained my underwear as the seconds ticked on. Nausea settled over my body at the idea and my tears started new.

Somehow I managed to fix my eyes on the screen, and even through the tear-obscured view, I could make out how pale my observers were. Mason took note of Rafael's fierce expression and held out his red-stained fingers as if they were a trophy.

"What's the matter, Mr. Harvard Law? Would you have treated her nicer?"

I broke. I sobbed.

Rafael spoke then, desperate, but firm. "Henry, this is between you and me., I know you loved your family. They wouldn't want you to hurt an innocent person. Your anger is for me. I'm the one at fault here, so why don't we trade?" He was so confident that it made me hurt even more. That was the last thing I wanted. "Return her to the NYPD and I'll take her place."

Mason spent a long moment considering the offer, using my ruined dress to wipe his fingers clean as he contemplated. "Everyone leave, except for you, Barba. I want to have a talk."

There was hesitancy. All impulses said absolutely not, but what could they do? The squad left the room carefully but emotionally stunned..

When they were safely out the door, Mason began: "Come to the bridge at Central Park tomorrow at noon. _Alone. _If I see anyone else I'll end her existence before you can take one step."

"Understood."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order or its characters!

It was a little too cold to be standing in Central Park in just jeans and a t-shirt, but that was all Mason offered me after shredding my dress. Every organ in me was bubbling like a pot. This trade was damning, but I refused to believe that Rafael was going into it blindly. If he was up to his usual game he would have options A through Z planned out and then some…right? I had to hang onto that hope.

Mason was tapping on the stone of the bridge and it was driving me _insane_. I didn't know how much longer I would be able to keep up my mask. People were passing all around me, simply thinking that I was spending some time with my boyfriend while inside I was shaking, brittle, and close to breaking. It felt strange to feel so alone while standing amongst so many. No one but me could hear the scream coming from my very core.

Lucky them.

Mason glanced down at his watch, mumbling, "Eleven fifty-five. You'd better hope your lover boy isn't late."

Bile burned in my stomach. "He's _not_ my 'lover boy.' He was just telling you what you wanted to hear so you wouldn't kill me." My legs trembled a little, though I strove to hide it by shifting my weight. The movements irritated the wounds that he inflicted on my thighs after the video chat, but that was the least of my worries. All I could hope was that the suffering was going to end. Soon I could forget about this. Soon –

There he was. I could see him, coming down the leaf-scattered path and my heart clanged in my chest. A sight for tired, red-with-tears eyes in his dress pants and brown autumn coat. Hundreds of memories of him in that coat raked raw down my spine; we'd taken so many walks over cases on lunch breaks, gone to so many coffee shops, I even did him a favor and ran it to the dry cleaning downtown when something spilled on it, more than once, even with all his protests. I knew how that wool smelled, how it felt when he hugged me goodbye. Tears blurred his image from view again as I finally came to terms that I was in love with my best friend.

Now he was going to leave my life forever, and I knew I would never recover.

He came to a stop just inside the tunnel, exactly on time. Punctual as always. He was so near, but my body might as well have been bound to where I was standing. I could feel Mason dangerously close to my side, all of my skin trying to crawl away wherever he made contact with it.

Rafael was definitely a man on a mission, He stood straight and strong before Mason with an air of intensity that he normally reserved for the courtroom, not intimidated in the least although Mason loomed several inches taller. "At least let me say goodbye to her."

My life felt like the water in a draining sink, whirling toward the end with no way to stop the deadly spiral that had been set in motion.

"Quickly." Was the heart-drowning reply.

I'd never been happier to be held.

_Just one more moment of this,_ my being cried. The soft, thick, fabric against my cheek and fisted in my hands, the grip he held me with, the way his lips pressed tenderly close to my ear, bringing a wave of sadness. I was sure that Olivia had briefed him on that the chances of him being executed after my leave were great.

Every ounce of my training worked overtime to not let loose the terror building in me, but that stubborn, sarcastic, amazing, man whispered in my ear: "Don't worry, we have this under control. Officers have been staked out here for hours." He took a deep breath. "I have to let him shoot me to let his guard down" My heart slammed into my ribcage, and I'm sure he could feel it. "You need to trust me. When he releases you, I want you to run."

That smile again – it made my heart hurt. How was he even capable right now?

An executioner's command: "That's enough."

No it wasn't. No amount of time would have been. "Goodbye," I murmured, squeezing him again, only to have Mason yank us apart.

"Go." How was it possible for someone's eyes to burn so brutally?

I took off, faster than I had ever been when pursuing a suspect, wounds be damned. My instincts wanted me to turn back, but I needed to follow his instructions.

_He's not a cop, you know that. He can't defend himself. You could have stood by him, tried to defend him, work as a team. How could you leave him?_

_He'll die because of you. _

A gunshot.

My legs forgot their designed function and collapsed.

Two more gunshots.

_No, no, no, NO. Fuck it!_

Cursing myself, I forced my legs to work and pivoted, racing back toward the bridge. Two men were on the ground – Mason and Rafael, and surrounded by a swarm of drawn guns. Blood pooled around Mason's body and coated his shoulder and neck where two bullets had expertly ripped into the flesh.

Olivia was the first to notice me standing there and she crossed to me as Amanda and Nick assessed the bodies. They checked Mason's corpse thoroughly, just to make sure he was down forever. I heard Amano shout out, "He's gone," before my Sergeant blocked my view.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead opted to hug me. We had grown close since I had begun work with the NYPD, and now we unfortunately understood each other on an even deeper level. It wasn't the way either one of us wanted our bond to grow, but knowing she empathized with such a horrible abduction smoothed a little aloe on my mental wounds. At least for the moment. The world was crashing down around me, and yet I was free…but everything else was gone.

"How'd you do it?" I hiccupped in an attempt to reign in tears.

She supportively laid her hand on my shoulder. "Therapy, and one day at a time." A comforting expression formed on her face. "And finally letting myself lean on others." I could feel her eyes scanning me for wounds. "Let's get you to the hospital so you can be checked out. You can walk at least. That's good."

"Yeah, but," I could feel the carvings in the flesh of my thighs pulsating hot as my adrenaline cooled. "He left wounds."

"I'm sure he did." Her gaze was firm and frustrated. "Wish I could have shot him myself. Amanda and Nick got to him faster." She let out a breath. "I'm glad you're okay. We all are. Do you need a bus?"

Shudders took my spine. "No, no."

"I'll have Amanda take you over, then." Olivia reassured me, then went back to the scene.

All I could do was nod. _Thank you._

My eyes drifted over to where Rafael's body ways lying.

I did a double-take. _Had_ be lying, apparently.

Did they take him away already? The amount of blood suddenly racing through me was staggering. That couldn't be right. I strode toward where he'd fallen, eyes wide, searching for an answer.

When I found none I pushed through a group of people crowding one of the ambulances, trying to get someone's attention, but it just wasn't happening. There had to be at least one person who could answer my questions.

Turns out my answer was to be found at the front of the front of the cluster of EMTs and police.

"You would not believe how much this hurts, even with one of these things." Rafael, that bastard, was smiling as he fixed his forest eyes on me. They'd taken off his coat and shirt, leaving him bare chested with an angry red indent marring the skin over his ribcage. Beside him was a bulletproof vest that had obviously done its job.

The crowd thinned out a little under Olivia's request, and I was thankful, but I was honestly speechless. If I couldn't say something nice, I had always found a way to sarcastically banter back and forth with him. But this time my tongue held.

"You didn't do what I said." His eyes challenged, but couldn't hide the jest underneath.

Fine, I'd play. My eyebrows narrowed. "Well I don't know about you, but it's morally difficult to keep running when someone you care about stays behind to be shot so you can get away. Plus, you put a bullet hole in my favorite coat."

"Ouch, that burns, and let's be clear: _my_ favorite coat." he teased as he put his shirt back on. "Though I need to say that it was equally as hard to stand there wondering if I would live to see your face again."

Point taken.

I crossed to him, through with joking, and helped him button the rest of his shirt. The hole over the wound was ragged as I gently passed my hand over it. "You know," I couldn't resist smoothing back his ruffled hair. "He still could have shot you in the head, or the neck, or your arm, or-"

Rafael's thumb pressed gently over my lips, as not to harm the split skin there but still silence me affectively. "I know."

A kiss was pressed to my temple, the most wonderful alternative to the barrel of a gun.

_But it was a chance I had to take._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own none any of the Law and Order: SVU characters.

Six days, five hours, and thirty three minutes since the hospital discharged me.

My adrenaline had plummeted as I sat in my hospital bed, bringing on the endless waves of distress and pain. I couldn't bear to look friends in the eye even though they'd seen the news and were frantic with concern, I even pushed Olivia out although I knew she would have so much insight into how I could survive the demons making home in my skull. They crawled through my eyelids like projections on a movie screen if I shut my eyes for too long. Sleep was impossible.

I almost turned Rafael away when he showed up at my apartment. Almost, but I didn't have it in my heart when he held out a bouquet of brightly colored flowers and an impressively aged bottle of wine that I was sure he'd bought just for this occasion. The sight made tears tip over my eyelids which startled him. "No, no, no, don't cry." He pulled me against him, stroking my hair and murmuring something comforting in Spanish. Finally, "I can go if you really don't want me here."

"No. Please," I gripped his coat. I was one I'd never seen before, probably replacing the one I loved so much that now had an ugly bullet hole marring it. If only it were so easy to replace the intangible things, like the images haunting my mind.

_I need you to stay._

Rafael stepped into the apartment without needing the words.

_He was always good at reading others, especially me. In fact, he criticized me for it because my face was too expressive the first time he had to cross examine me. I couldn't hide the guilt I'd felt, even though the accident was bound to happen even though I was following my training to its greatest extent. It took him many hours to dig to case out of the ground because I nearly incriminated myself. _

_He spent a significant amount of energy to piss me off after that. His attacks were very personal at first, ones that would rip right through anyone's armor, and I showed it too. It was a new jab every time we had to collaborate on a case, a new embarrassment, a new dig into at my gut, and I wanted to scream. On several occasions I did, though he always walked away as the victor._

_Finally there was a day where he joined us for a briefing and corrected me practically the moment I opened my mouth. Again. I could feel the collective thought of, Oh here we go again, but something had changed. I held his eyes firmly with mine before turning back to the board, not even not phased. He'd become a gnat and I had a job to do._

_When the meeting was over he followed me to my desk and actually stood there until I turned my eyes upward. "Can I help you, Barba?"_

_"__I've noticed you've grown some skin, Elton. I guess neither of us will have to worry next time I need you on that stand."_

_That bastard had actually been doing me a favor by being an asshole to me. I couldn't believe it. He was an asshole, a jerk, a cocky son of a bitch…and he was brilliant. A tiny smile touched my lips. "This is crazy, but, wanna get a drink later?"_

_His expression mirrored mine. "I was just about to ask the same thing."_

We didn't speak much after Rafael came inside, and that was really okay. The TV rumbling some nonsense and the pouring of the wine made up most of the noise was actually very comfortable even though our friendship had never been a quiet one.

One glass turned into two. Two turned into three and a half; Sometime after that I was exhausted, and peaceful for the first time in a while. I tipped over sleepily, so my head could rest against his leg, and contentment washed over me when his hand stroked my hair.

_I love you_, my heart panged, but my mouth refused to say it.

Rafael brought my hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles carefully. He knew. Just like I knew his heart was hammering just as hard as mine.

Finally I allowed sleep to claim me, peaceful and secure.

The sun was streaming through the windows when I awoke. Rafael was gone, but his coat was wrapped around me. I looked about frantically, finally noticing that there was a note attached to the table: _Had to run into the station. I helped myself to some of your coffee. It's terrible. I'll bring you something better when I come back. – R. _

My lips quirked into a smile. Typical.

* * *

Rafael still hadn't been able to persuade me out of the house until five nights later. The man was logical and convincing for a living, so of course he easily threw in my face that I needed to pull myself out of the antisocial hole I was too easily settling into.

"I didn't risk my life so I could watch you stop living yours. Be ready to go by seven." He hung up abruptly before I could protest.

He was right.

Fast forward an hour later, I had put myself together in a knee-length dress and my favorite pair of heels. By the time he arrived at my door I was dolled up like I used to on the weekend when I was doing social things. The bruise on my cheek had faded so I could easily cover it up, and my lip was healed nicely, so when I looked in the mirror it was almost like nothing had ever happened. Maybe I would make it out of this alive after all.

Rafael's eyes grew large when I answered the door. "I was hoping that you'd be ready to go, but wow."

My cheeks bloomed quickly under his gaze. "Why don't you come in for a minute? I just have to get my purse and coat."

When I returned he was leaning against the wall, obviously having gone to wherever Rafael Barba goes when he's lost in thought.

"I know that look. Is something going on at work?"

Shaking his head, he answered, "Work's fine. The usual: not enough evidence, not enough coffee, too many headaches." He took a few cautious steps toward me until he was close enough to tuck a stray piece of my hair behind my ear. "That's not what's bothering me."

My heart became a humming bird caught in the cage of my ribs. "What is it then?"

Seeing the great attorney actually shift on his feet was exceptionally unusual. There was a brief pause of him settling his thoughts before continuing, but I couldn't wait for that. I knew him too well.

"You're not going to take advantage of me, Rafael, and I'm not scared. Just kiss me."

For once in his life, the stubborn A.D.A. listened to me.

He listened beautifully.

I'd never been kissed like that, and as he pressed me to the wall to deepen the motion, I had never felt safer. Every ounce of the memory of Mason's mouth on mine washed away when Rafael swept his tongue past my lips. If only I could stay there forever with his arms around me, his body aligned securely against mine, his lips coaxing the hurt out and replacing it with relief.

A breathy sigh escaped me, making him pull away. "Dinner first. I made a reservation." He had that small smirk on, the one I couldn't resist.


	4. Chapter 4

WARNING: Sex, sex, and more sex. ALL THE RATED M. You've been warned.

Who would have known that a simple night out could pump air back into a deflated soul?

The dinner was wonderful, but what made my night was the simple act of holding hands. Rafael's closeness desensitized me to the jostling of crowds so that I didn't even notice if someone bumped into me on the street by the end of the night.

We took a cab back to his apartment, a place I had been accustomed to from many nights of arguing over cases and drinking maybe a little more than we should have. Tall windows gave gateway to the lights of the nighttime city and then the stars that managed to escape the orange glow even higher. I was envious of the view. Hell, I'd always been envious of the whole place. Two inlaid book shelves fully filled with beautifully aesthetic books took residence in the walls on either side of his flat screen TV. Across was the softest black leather couch I knew, and a glass coffee table with papers strewn all over it.

Home sweet home.

Rafael disappeared into the adjoining kitchen for a moment, only to return with a bottle of wine in one hand and scotch in the other. "Which one?"

I couldn't stop the sassy remark from coming, "I'm a big girl, pour me some on the rocks, please.

That raised his eyebrows. "Scotch it is. Why don't you go sit on the couch?"

"As if I would pass up the opportunity to watch your fancy pants television."

He snorted from the kitchen. I laughed.

I'd barely brought the TV to life when Rafael clinked the expensive bottle down onto the table and joined me. We drank in contented silence, occasionally laughing at something dumb on the screen. But this wasn't about drinking. It wasn't about the stupid TV. It was about regaining that normalcy that Mason had stolen from our lives, and it was working.

"God, Rafi," I giggled around the glass currently pressed to my lips. I was nowhere near drunk, but my heart was so light that it felt that way. "Have I ever told you that this is my favorite part of the week?"

"What? Getting drunk on my couch?"

Smartass.

"Hey, I'm not drunk yet. But yes, getting into heated discussions over cases on this couch, and _then_ getting absolutely drunk beyond my wits. With you."

Those green eyes were fire from his end of the seat. Every time I'd looked into that rare forest green over the past few years and told myself that he was "just a friend" I'd been lying to myself. Gotta hand it to Mason: he shook my feelings enough to help me understand myself. One should look for blessings everywhere, I guess.

But now my eyes were open, and I wasn't about to waste any more time.

"You know…" I set my glass down on a coaster before scooting closer to him until my knee touched his. "I'd really like something."

"Oh?" He took another sip of his drink, eyes burning over the brim.

With great care I took his glass as well, placing it delicately on the coaster next to mine. "I love our memories here, but I think we should make a new one." My fingers sought the knot if his lime green paisley tie, carefully undoing the soft fabric that I was sure cost more than my whole outfit put together. Once completely unbound, I used the ends to pull him in so our noses were just touching.

He breathed my name as he planted a soft kiss on my lips while his hands pulled the tie out of my grasp to throw it on the table, vest following shortly after. In moments he had me on my back and rested carefully against me with lips fierce against my neck. Blood was pounding a drum in my veins even though he'd barely touched me yet.

_So pent up,_ my mind mused. _How long have you wanted me?_ I recalled his confession to Mason and wondered if it had really been true.

I couldn't stop myself from scraping my nails down the back of his shirt just to crush him closer. "Please," I hardly recognized the way I begged in his ear. My fingers blindly began unfastening the buttons on his shirt.

"Please, what?" His lips sought mine again, deeper this time like earlier in my apartment.

Our eyes held each other for a tick of the clock over the TV.

"Please don't stop. I want you."

Nothing else was needed. Rafael kissed me again, teasing with his teeth and tongue until he pulled a gasp from my mouth. My fingers laced into his hair to yank him in again and there was not a single complaint from his lips. The only objection arose when he pulled away for a breath, and that was quickly squashed when he resumed attention down my neck to the sparse bit of cleavage exposed by my dress's neckline.

One of his palms slid cautiously up the inside of my thigh, "Does this still hurt you?" he murmured against my skin as his fingertip swiped against one of the wounds Mason had inflicted.

"They're only a little sore, don't worry. Just be careful with them for now."

Another kiss to my neck. Another one to my cheek. To my lips, my eyes, my forehead.

I felt Rafael push the hem of my dress up higher and heard the sharp intake of air when he saw the damage. Our eyes met as his index finger traced the longest ragged line running from the inner joint of my leg to mid-thigh. "I'm sorry to say that Amaro and Rollins had the pleasure of killing that bastard. I would have loved to watch him suffer at my own hands."

The thought of Rafael killing anyone with anything more than his eyes and words was amusing and I couldn't help the smile. "Whatever happened to a fair trial?"

His fingers stroked my leg slowly, leaving electricity in its wake. "I've seen the consequences of putting a monster on the stand to be judged by a jury of humans who cannot fathom the depths of what monsters are capable of." Fingertips stopped at my underwear. "I had everything planned up to checkmate with William Lewis's trial and he still swept it all away in an instant. Sometimes dead is better. Dead doesn't break out of prison and come back to hurt the people you care about."

His statement startled me before settling in my chest. First Olivia, and now me. "You have a point." I caressed my fingers down his neck and over his collar bones, stopping at a button that had yet to be undone.

I felt him shudder from appreciating the touch and trying to clear his mind at the same time. Long fingers pressed at my entrance through my underwear, "I saw the damage he did here."

I shook my head. "The physical pain stopped by the time the hospital released me."

"Still," his lips pressed to my hair. "I'm stopping if it hurts."

"You won't have to."

Rafael had no problem slipping his fingers inside of me. Sparks flew through me at his surprisingly deft touch. That simple sensation was something I'd never felt before, and was certain that no man could hope to come close to. Soon his fingers were curling inside me so perfectly that I almost came undone then and there. A whimper tumbled from my lips, urging him to kiss them again.

_So warm_.

His name escaped me between kisses and moans, my eyes seeing nothing but stars as he hit that perfect place over and over again.

"You're so tight around me." Rafael finally whispered huskily in my ear, his accent breaking through in places. We both knew I was close; I was a vice around him.

Then his thumb found my clit.

No orgasm I'd had with another man had felt like that one. I screamed his name so many times that I was sure a neighbor would come running, but he didn't object. All he was, was flushed with want and incredibly hard with me scooped into his arms before I had completely come down from my high.

"If you think I'm letting you cum all over that couch, you're mistaken."

I'd been in Rafael's bedroom many times because he wanted to show me various clothing items he'd purchased and ask for suggestions. Of course I gave him my opinion, not that he needed it. He never really cared about what anyone thought about his interesting taste in how he matched his colors and patterns, but who was I to turn down the opportunity for an attractive man to show off his nicely-tailored suits?

As Rafael placed me on the black and red bedspread it dawned on me: He _didn't_ care about my opinion…he just wanted to impress me. Was I really that much of an idiot that I couldn't see that he had been looking at me as more than a friend for that long?

"Rafi," I cooed when he rid himself of his pants and crawled onto the bed with only his shirt remaining. The tone and nickname raised his eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"All those times you had me in here…"

Rafael Barba, a man who really gave no fucks, Mr. Choke-me-with-your-belt-and-I'll-prove-you-guilty, actually looked _embarrassed_. "You finally figured it out?"

"You're bad at flirting."

"No, you just didn't notice that, or any of the hundreds of other hints I gave you almost every day." He sat me up so he could unzip the back of my dress. I gasped when he scraped his teeth along my exposed shoulders. "_You_ just failed to see it even though you're a detective with fantastic intuition."

I tried really hard to make a comeback but it was hard with his lips working magic on the curve of my neck. In seconds he had deftly pulled my dress off over my head and tossed it into the darkness without breaking the fervor of his kisses. The eagerness was inspiring and had me quickly loosening the rest of the buttons on his shirt. Despite the sparse light I could still see the mark over his ribcage. It wasn't as mean-looking anymore, but it was still there, proof that maybe he wasn't a good flirt, but he was a _good man._ All the teasing in me died as I caressed the injury, and I knew he could see the change in me because his eyebrows were furrowed when I looked at him again.

"I'd do it again in a second, even without the vest."

_I believe you, but I can't take the thought of losing you._

The next kiss took my breath completely. I had no idea it was possible for him to work his mouth so skillfully, completely aware of what strokes of his tongue would make my toes curl the tightest, and knowing exactly how to drag his teeth over the sensitive skin of my bottom lip before we were forced to take in air. A second apart was too much. Without restraint he captured my mouth again, drawing out a sound I didn't know I was capable of making. Bliss followed wherever our skin touched, and whenever we had to pull away it burned.

"Please," I murmured again, not recognizing my voice.

We'd frequented the bars many times but I had never been as drunk as I was in that moment. Perhaps he was too. He'd begin replacing half our conversations with Spanish if he'd allowed himself too much scotch, and all I could hear when he slid inside me was a string of words that I couldn't understand.

My quiet sounds quickly gave way to screams that he felt the need to tame with his mouth, lest a neighbor think he was killing me. It was a smart move because there probably would have been a murder to clean up if someone forced us to detangle our bodies before we were sated. Once I was calmed to a moaning state, he dropped his head to my neck to run his tongue over a sensitive patch of skin.

I sighed his name - one of the few sounds in the room beside the bed creaking in perfect rhythm with his slow, deep thrusts, and our staggered breathing punctuated by the occasional fractured Spanish. Rafael pressed his forehead to mine, whispering my name in such a way that I had no choice but to tip over the edge. My tightness brought him to release shortly after, leaving both of us breathing heavily and me with the most wonderful tingling in my toes.

He curled me against him, giving me the opportunity to tuck my head under his chin. My heart rate slowed out of orgasm mode and left euphoria in its wake.

"Was that what you always imagined?" I finally asked.

I didn't need to explain to him what I meant.

"I was telling Mason the truth when I said I'd thought about this, but I don't think I was prepared for how much I underestimated the event." That rare, elated smile parted his lips. "And believe me, I was already certain it would be quite satisfying."

_I wasn't aware that I could love you more than I already did before this mess._

He pulled me closer to kiss the top of my head and I felt safe. Absolutely, perfectly _safe_.

Tomorrow I'd make an appointment for therapy and push even harder to get back to work. It would probably reopen all the wounds Mason had dealt me, but I had Rafael to help me, and I had no doubt that he could close them again.


End file.
